do you ever spend time dreaming about something you hope to come true someday....  then suddenly wake up and realize that slowly, but surely, your dream seems to be coming true?..?  i feel like i need to dive into freezing water to make sure that i'm alive..... how can this be?..?  is it real?

comment away if you want...lol.... i was basically just talking to myself.   kinda scary, i know. 

i'm very discouraged today.  although i'm trying to be cheerful, nothing seems to be going right lately.  chem is a huge contributer to this problem.  i took my second exam today and couldn't concentrate at all.  the room was so loud; the next room was loudly playing music, people were walking by our classroom talking very loudly, my prof would announce how much time we had left every so often (which is very nerve-wracking to me), and because all of that, things that i had known like the back of my hand before the exam escaped my mind and fled into the void and no matter how hard i tried, i could not recover them.  work is very mundane - basically all i do all day is data-entry and i feel cut-off from the rest of the world.  it's just me and my computer.

i've been doing schoolwork for 11 months now and to be honest; i'm very tired.  my head is exhausted.  and thinking about the fact that one month from today, i'll be on my way to school makes me even more tired.  i'll be doing school until aug 1st (roughly...might be the 2nd or 3rd), continue working through the 6th, get ready to leave for the wedding, leave for the wedding which is on aug 14th, come back the 15th, pack the 16th and 17th, and leave for school on the 18th.  whew...

I have started to read "The Purpose Driven Life" today.  I am so excited for what God is going to teach me.  It was somewhat ironic however; today while I was reading, Warren talked about how it's "not about me".  He said something very.... true.   He said  that God had our whole lives (our individual lives!!) completely sketched out from beginning to end before we were even conceived.  Meaning, God didn't need my two-cents then and He doesn't need it now.  If He had wanted my oppinion, He would have simply asked for it.  ....Apparently He already knew that His plans for my life were infinately more complex and beautiful than I could ever imagine for myself. 

When will I ever learn not to add my two-cents without asking first?..???  When will I ever learn to just be quiet...... and listen for Him to speak?..?

I got to talk to Kate again today... she said that another one of her friends is a born-again Christian who is constantly trying to "save" her.  Hmmm...

God is so good.   One of my bosses, Kate, has an older brother who was just diagnosed with a brain tumor last Friday.  She has been out of the office a lot this week, so I was wondering if something was going on.  Anyway, I had to ask her something earlier and then she began talking about her brother the surgery he had yesterday and how she thinks he only has about six months to live.  Then she started talking about how she has had "conversations" with God for the past week, and actually since her mom died nine years ago.  I started praying like crazy that God would give me something to say and He did.  It was incredible....it was definately all God though because she listened.  I was able to point her to a passage of Scripture and she seemed very interested and I really think that she will go read it for comfort.  

It was strange though..  as we talked about God, I felt like I was the one who was recieving a blessing through it.  Please pray for Kate... she's really searching right now and really wants to know who God is.